If you’re single and looking to meet someone, bars can be a great place to start. But if you’ve never tried to pick up girls at a bar before, it can feel daunting. Don’t worry – with the right approach, you can attract women in any setting, even if you’re shy or introverted. In this guide, we’ll walk you through five simple steps to meet, connect with, and impress women at a bar.
To pick up girls at a bar, you need to exude confidence. This doesn't mean you need to be the loudest or most extroverted person in the room, but it does mean you need to be comfortable in your own skin and willing to put yourself out there.
- Make eye contact with someone you find attractive, and hold it for a few seconds. Don't look away first. - Start a conversation with the person next to you at the bar or standing next to you on the dance floor. - Approach the group of girls you’ve been eyeing from across the room and introduce yourself. - Start with a genuine compliment. For example, “I couldn't help but notice your smile from across the room. Hi, I’m [Your Name].” - Use open body language, such as facing the person you’re talking to and keeping your arms uncrossed.
When trying to pick up girls at a bar, it’s important to read the room and understand what type of environment you’re in. If it’s a rowdy dance club, you may need to be more outgoing and flirty. If it’s a quieter lounge, you’ll want to be more subtle and understated.
- Observe the type of music being played and adjust your approach accordingly. If it’s high-energy, feel free to dance and be more outgoing. If it’s slower, take the opportunity to strike up a conversation. - Pay attention to the crowd. If the bar is crowded and everyone is shouting to be heard, it may not be the best environment for a deep conversation. - Be mindful of how much alcohol you and the people around you have had. You don’t want to say or do something you’ll regret later. - If you notice someone who seems to be having a bad night, try to lift their spirits. For example, offer to buy them a drink or strike up a conversation about something positive. - Adjust your approach depending on the number of people in the group. If it’s a larger group, be more social and outgoing. If it's just one or two people, take a more intimate and focused approach.
Once you’ve made a connection with someone, it’s important to be flirty and fun. This will help you build attraction and create a memorable encounter.
- Use humor to break the ice. For example, “Is it just me, or is it hot in here? Or is it just you?” - Don't be afraid to tease someone in a playful way. For example, “I bet you were the troublemaker in your class, weren't you?” - Use light physical touch to build intimacy. For example, touch someone’s arm or shoulder while talking to them. - Create a sense of adventure. Suggest doing something spontaneous, like going to an after-hours spot or trying a new drink. - Keep the conversation light and fun. Talk about things you’re both interested in, and don’t be afraid to be a little silly.
If you’ve hit it off with someone, don’t be afraid to take things to the next level. This could mean exchanging phone numbers, planning a date, or even going home with them.
- Ask for their phone number or Instagram handle - Suggest meeting up again soon. For example, “We should do this again sometime. How about next week?” - Invite them to do something outside of the bar. For example, “Have you ever been to [insert activity here]? I’d love to take you there sometime.” - If things are going really well, suggest going somewhere quieter or more secluded to continue the conversation. - Pay attention to their body language and verbal cues. If they seem interested, go for the next step. If they seem uncomfortable, back off.
At the end of the day, it’s important to be respectful of everyone you meet, whether or not you’re interested in them romantically. This will help you build a positive reputation and make future interactions with the same people easier.
- If someone tells you they’re not interested, respect their boundaries and move on. - Don’t make derogatory or aggressive comments to someone who doesn’t respond to your advances. - Be aware of your surroundings and avoid making anyone uncomfortable. - Listen actively and give people your full attention when they’re speaking to you. - Always treat everyone with kindness and respect.
Conversation 1: Place of the conversation: Bar on a Friday night People speaking: Tom & Lily Tom: Hi, can I buy you a drink? Lily: I'm not sure, I just got here. Tom: No problem, take your time. What's your name? Lily: Lily, and you? Tom: Tom. So, what brings you out tonight? Lily: Just wanted to have some fun with my girls. Tom: Same here, but I couldn't resist talking to you. You have a beautiful smile. Lily: Thank you, that's sweet of you to say. I guess I could have a drink with you. Tom: Perfect, let's go to the bar. (10 minutes later) Tom: So, what do you do for a living, Lily? Lily: I'm a graphic designer. How about you? Tom: I work in finance. I'm curious, do you like to travel? Lily: Yeah, I love traveling! How about you? Tom: Same here. Where's your favorite place you've been to? Lily: Hmm, I would have to say Thailand. The culture and food were amazing. Tom: That's cool, I've always wanted to go there. Maybe we can plan a trip together someday? Lily: blushes That sounds like fun, I would like that. Conversation 2: Place of the conversation: Text/online chat People speaking: James & Ashley James: Hey Ashley, how's it going? Ashley: Hi James, it's going good thanks. How about you? James: I'm doing pretty well, just getting ready to head out to a bar tonight. Ashley: Sounds fun, wish I could join. But I'm staying in tonight. James: Aw, too bad. I was looking forward to seeing you. Ashley: blushes Maybe some other time? James: Definitely. You know, I've been wanting to take you out for a while now. Ashley: Really? I had no idea. James: Yeah, I think you're special and I'd like to get to know you better. Ashley: That's nice of you to say, James. I'd like that too. James: Great! How about we plan a date for next weekend? Ashley: smiles That sounds perfect. (Next weekend) Conversation 3: Place of the conversation: Beach bar on a Sunday afternoon People speaking: David & Emily David: Hey, can I buy you a drink? Emily: Um, no thanks. I'm just here to relax. David: I understand, but a beautiful lady like you shouldn't be alone. Emily: Thanks, but I'm fine by myself. David: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come on too strong. I just thought we could enjoy a drink together and get to know each other. Emily: Maybe. But I have a boyfriend. David: smiles That's too bad, he's a lucky guy. But can we at least talk for a little while? Emily: Okay, sure. (30 minutes later) David: Well, it was great talking to you, Emily. Emily: Yeah, it was nice to meet you too. David: I'm sorry if I was being too forward earlier, I just really enjoyed our conversation. Emily: It's okay, I appreciate the apology. You seem like a nice guy. David: Thank you. Maybe we can hang out again sometime, just as friends? Emily: Sure, that sounds good.
Picking up girls at a bar can be nerve-wracking, but with these five simple steps, you can make a connection with someone special. Remember to have confidence, read the room, be flirty and fun, seal the deal, and above all, be respectful. Now it’s time to put these tips into practice – go out there and meet someone new!
